I Love High Sex, But Not Dry Mouth. How Can I Toke and Still Give Head?

Okay, BS, your problem can be solved with a can of Coke—or, better yet, Pepsi, which just donated $500,000 to Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, all but daring the American Family Association to launch a boycott. Trust me: You'll find it much easier to get cock down your throat when stoned after you pour a little high-fructose corn syrup down it.

A note to my readers: I get more letters at Savage Love than I could ever hope to respond to personally, and infinitely more letters than I could ever hope to fit in this space. Now there's really no secret to getting your letter into the column: I just have to find your problem somewhat interesting, basically. (You are, however, better off e-mailing me on Tuesdays, when I actually sit down to write, than you are on, say, Fridays, when I'm sitting down to drink.) The fact that I can't respond to every letter leads to a lot of hurt feelings. Every day I get complaints from readers who can't believe I replied to the dude with shit on his dick and not to them.

Well, dear readers, for two weeks—and two weeks only—you can get a guaranteed response from me. Just go to noonprop8.com, click "Donate Now," and do your part to help preserve marriage equality in California. On the left-hand side of the donation page, there's a spot where you can indicate that you're making your donation in someone's honor. Type in "Savage Love," put my e-mail address—mail@savagelove.net—in the space provided, and then send me your question in another e-mail along with the e-mail confirmation that No on Prop. 8 sent you after your donation cleared. The six biggest Savage Love donors over the next two weeks get their letters in the October 16 and 23 installments of Savage Love. Everyone who makes a donation of $25 or more by October 16 gets a personal reply to their question from yours truly. The cutoff dates for donations that qualify for a letter in the column are October 9 for the October 16 column, and October 16 for the October 23 column.

mail@savagelove.net